


i will die on my terms

by Kofaros



Series: I will die only on my own terms (translation) [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Asexual Regulus Black, Other, Regulus Black Lives, Regulus fucking genius I cannot be persuaded otherwise, Regulus is the only adequate person in the world of harry potter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:49:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 6,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26361439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kofaros/pseuds/Kofaros
Summary: He thought he was ready. That he is doing the right thing. That someone else will finish this matter.But Regulus is not a good person. He doesn't do therightthing. He made achoice. But why did he decide that this was the end? He did not want a noble death. He didn't want to die because he had nochoice. To die there ... is like dying on command.Hell no.He leaves behind those who left him. He will continue to search, because he wants the death of the Dark Lord. Because this is the only way to feel satisfaction.This is really his choice.He wants to see how much he can do before he dies. What he is capable of himself.I will die on my own terms.
Series: I will die only on my own terms (translation) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1915594
Comments: 2
Kudos: 47





	1. choice

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [i will die on my terms](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25680280) by [Kofaros](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kofaros/pseuds/Kofaros). 



> English is not my language at all so read at your own risk.

**People never lie so much as during the war, after the hunt and before the elections.**

For as long as he can remember, Regulus Black has always loved his family. Parents, grandfather, three cousins and an older brother. As a child, he thought his family was the best. Ancient, with a rich history, which gave birth to many powerful wizards. And then his world began to slowly collapse.

Andromeda decided to marry for love. _She was thrown out of the family._ Narcissa had to marry someone she didn't love. _That he and Lucius fell in love with each other later was the only consolation._ Bellatrix became obsessed. _She was the embodiment of what everyone around the Black family believed._ Sirius began to resist the foundations of the family. _He was the embodiment of what the Black family had never been._

Regulus was no longer allowed to speak to one cousin. The other two began to drift away from him. Sirius began to leave them all behind. Regulus loved him the most. He believed that his older brother was the best. _He still thinks so._ Sirius has always been bright, brave and strong. Deep down, Regulus knew which house at Hogwarts his brother would go to. When this happened, things got worse.

When Sirius was at home, he and his mother yelled at each other several times a day. _Regulus heard their screams all the time._ His mother deprived Sirius of lunch as a punishment, and he did not return to dinner. _Regulus secretly carried food for him._

Regulus did not understand why Sirius was acting this way. Until he went to Hogwarts himself. Until he saw his older brother with his friends. _Sirius never laughed like that at home._ He had friends, fans, favorite house, _light_. Regulus felt a void in his soul when he understood. He lost the right to speak with his brother.

Regulus found out what people think of the Blacks. Dark magicians, crazy, obsessed, hating everyone but purebloods. Sirius hated that. Regulus didn't know what to do.

All Blacks stood out. Somehow they were different inside. Not Regulus. He was quiet, loved to read, hid in quiet places, listened to his parents. Professor Flitwick has often said that he belongs to Ravenclaw. The hat said so too. But he was not Sirius. He didn't have the guts _to choose._

One summer Sirius and their mother had a falling out so that they smashed the dining room. At night, an enraged Sirius grabbed a school trunk and left while his parents slept. Regulus did not sleep. _He knew what was going to happen._ During a quarrel, he went into his brother's room and put a bag of money in his trunk. He knew that his parents would never give him money again, and Regulus had enough of it. He was a beloved son. When Sirius silently closed the street door of their house, Regulus slid down the wall of his room and only then allowed himself _to cry._

Andy was no longer a family. Cissy and Bella had their own. Siri chose the family himself. Reggie was left alone.

The parents were furious. Not because Sirius escaped. Because he chose the Potters. Regulus said he could handle it himself. They were proud of him and left Sirius, throwing him out of the family. Only Arcturus, his grandfather, gave Regulus a knowing look. He always understood. He was the true Black, they said. Lord of the family, powerful, wise and calm.

Sirius was the heir to his parents, but Arcturus himself named Regulus the heir to the family. They said that the grandfather and the youngest grandson were always alike. Regulus really hoped so.

As the Dark Lord began to recruit an army, Regulus jumped at the opportunity. _He clutched at the idea._ The Dark Lord represented what Regulus had been taught as a child. Pure blood is most important. Wizards are better than Muggles. Magicians are like family. He believed it. He believed that the Dark Lord would make their world a better place. _This was not the case._

The Dark mark was a _curse._ The Dark Lord used torture spells on his own people, saying that this would make them stronger. Bella and others laughed as they killed and tortured _children._ And Regulus became a part of it. He was very young and studied at Hogwarts, so his job was to spy and gather information. _But he himself was tortured several times, he had to kill several times._ He was assigned to recruit Sirius. Regulus just nodded, because that would buy his brother some time, but he never approached him. Although he knew it was revealed. _And Regulus himself will be killed._

In the summer, before his last course, the Dark Lord asked him for a house elf. Regulus agreed. He was still clinging to the idea. Still admired their Lord's strength. And then Kreacher returned. And the world of Regulus finally fell apart.

He looked at the elf's memories several times. He settled in the family library. The parents thought it was for the Dark Lord, since the books contained dark magic. They were proud and did not bother him. And Regulus sat surrounded by all these books and felt empty. He found a lot. Understood what the Dark Lord had done. And then he realized what he had done himself. The Dark Lord taught those closest to him a special technique. Transforms into a lump of black smoke. _He did not mention that the magician's soul must be damaged in order to use the technique._ Regulus mastered the technique with ease.

He is Black. He is strong, although it is not visible. Regulus never showed his strength. He could conjure easily without a wand or words. _His soul was damaged._ Regulus stole some books from home because he had to go back to Hogwarts. He studied potions to find something similar to what was waiting in the cave. But he didn't have much time. Regulus left Hogwarts in the middle of the night, he couldn't wait for winter break.

There was no certainty that Kreacher would be able to Apparate both of them. The anti-Apparition spell still worked on humans. The potion was poison. There was no medicine. Kreacher himself was helped by the magic of the elves, but his life was still shortened. The Dark Lord would know the symptoms if he knew about them. Regulus was still a marked Death Eater. The Aurors could kill him without ceremony.

Charms. Potion. The Dark Lord. Aurors. Inferi. _This is a one-way trip._ Regulus was strangely calm. He was not afraid. He didn't really want to die, but he didn't have much of a reason to live. Everything he thought was true turned out to be a lie. His family fell apart, the Dark Lord was just another evil. Although Regulus was sad that he had to take Kreacher with him. He was his only friend, always consoled him. He thought Barty was his friend too. But Crouch found his place among the Death Eaters, but Regulus did not.

Regulus thought he was ready. That nothing will change from his death. That his beloved brother would not even be upset, because he had James. That someone else would hunt for Horcruxes. Perhaps Dumbledore. Someone stronger than Regulus.

Regulus did not resist when he was dragged to the bottom by drowned men. He thought that he missed the old days when he had a family. That the choice of death is the only choice he made himself in this life.

_Except ... isn't it because of someone?_

Reguls twitched in clawed hands at the thought.

_Why is he dying ... as if this is all he can do?_

Regulus was Black. He was _strong._ His magic ripped through his veins as he summons _Fiendfyre_ right under the water. Inferi rush to the sides. The youth's hands were burned. He wriggles out of his robes, which are still gripped by icy hands, and rushes to the very bottom. He doesn't think that he can feel a crack in the charms there. Or that already suffocating.

The water around is foaming. The Inferi try to grab him, even if the flames are still _burning._ It's around. Regulus can feel it brush against his cheek, but doesn't slow down. He reaches the crack and Apparates without thinking, but pouring in magic.

He is thrown out of the unknown where, he only has time to inhale, but Apparates _further._ His head is spinning, he is nauseous, but he does it two more times. As a result, he falls to his knees by some kind of reservoir. He scoops up water and drinks greedily. There is snow all around, the water is icy, and he is still in his school uniform. _But he feels good._ He feels burns, claw scratches, blood running through his body, pain everywhere. _He doesn't care._

Regulus doesn't know how much ice water he drinks. As soon as he felt his throat stop burning, he collapses on his back and gazes at the night sky.

He thought he was ready. That he is doing the right thing. That someone else will finish this matter.

But Regulus is not a good person. He doesn't do the _right_ thing. He made a _choice._ But why did he decide that this was the end? He did not want a noble death. He didn't want to die because he had no choice. To die there ... is like dying on command. _Hell no._

Regulus rises to his feet, teeth clenched in pain. Magic roars in his veins. _Woke up, pup?_ One gesture. His wounds are wrapped in black bandages. He sees only snow and trees around. But he still begins to walk forward, limping on his left leg.

_He won't die like this._

He knows there is poison in his blood. That he is bleeding. That he would be pronounced dead, because he would never have left the Blacks. But the Blacks left themselves. Why couldn't he? He never wanted to be an obedient and loved son. He wanted his loved ones to be near. The mark still burned on his hand. But he had studied enough dark magic in recent months to drown it out temporarily. As if he died.

He leaves behind those who left him. He will continue to search, because he wants the death of the Dark Lord. Because this is the only way to feel satisfaction. _This is really his choice._ He wants to see how much he can do before he dies. What he is capable of himself.

_I will die on my own terms._


	2. path

**I will fall, fall, and fall ... But when I get up, everyone will fall.**

By the age of 20, Regulus is strong enough to infiltrate Nurmengard without disturbing any spell. He sits right on the floor in front of Grindelwald's cell. The once strongest dark wizard looks like an old, thin and tired old man. But his eyes have not lost their former strength.

-The dead man came to the ghost, - Gellert says slowly. - What an irony.

-Is not it? - Regulus answers quietly. - We've both been forgotten, but our deeds are remembered. That's what's ironic.

Grindelwald chuckles.

-You are not looking for what the current Dark Lord is looking for. - It's not a question. - Interesting. You are looking for answers. It is a revenge?

-Hard to say. I want him dead. If anyone is looking for the same thing as me, so be it. But my search is only me. It is hard to explain.

-You have chosen a target that does not let go to the last, - nodded Gellert. - The reasons lose value in such matters. _I understand._ That's why you came.

Gellert sat up more comfortably, leaning against the wall.

-I had a lot of time to think things over. There are things that I regret now. But I know. If I am free, I will still pursue my goal. Me, you, the new Dark Lord and Albus are all like that.

Regulus nodded.

-This is what I thought. Even the headmaster goes this way.

Gellert laughed.

-Oh, Albus says he's changed. He always sees the big picture, but does not see the little pieces. He carefully draws up his plan, but then he sees no other way out. _He doesn’t want to admit that he never turned from this path._ Even now, he continues to search, although he speaks differently.

Grindelwald tilts his head to the side.

-You know, I've already seen eyes like yours now. The auror I killed. He was an excellent wizard. I would like him on my side. He only smiled as he died. He said that he made the choice himself. Only confinement here opened my eyes to the meaning of his words.

Regulus exhaled softly.

-I wondered why Dumbledore hadn't done anything for a long time. After all, he could. Obviously, he follows the same path.

-The sadness is that he doesn't see it. On purpose or not. He hides behind light and excuses, but he is still the same as in his youth. He didn't want to believe that his brother and sister could live life without him. And Ariana died. I've always felt sorry for her.

-Are you just waiting now?

-Why not? I've been in a hurry all my life. But you're right. _You and I have something in common._

Gellert smiles as Regulus tosses _Avada._ That Auror probably smiled the same way. _They both died on their own terms in the end._  
_____________________________________________________________________

Regulus stands under the icy shower, eyes closed. Already three years. He has changed. All Blacks stood out with some kind of beauty, inner strength. Now he too.

His eyes were almost white. He dyes his short hair white and slicked it back. He has a burn scar on his right cheek, palms, back, left leg and right side. On the throat is a scar from the claws of the Inferi. He got a tattoo. _Rebellion_ on the inside of the right forearm, scorpion on the left collarbone. His is called attractive and mysterious. _Like a big cat._

He is sure that the mother would have had a stroke if she saw. He doesn't care anymore. He never wanted to be her favorite. 

His scars hurt. His bones themselves ache. Cold water helps a little. _But this is proof of his choice._  
___________________________________________________________

Only by 22 he learns about what happened to the Potters. And Sirius. He doesn't know what to think. He cannot believe that Sirius has betrayed the one he calls his true brother. But they've all changed, haven't they? This world has really distorted them.

When Regulus comes to Arcturus, his eyes widen. But he is calm. As always. And Regulus tells _everything._ His grandfather was silent for a long time.

-So this is your path, - he finally says.

Arcturus has always understood. They don't talk about Sirius or parents. No need.

-What do you call yourself now?

-Reggie Arctur.  
______________________________________________________________

Arcturus has always considered only Regulus to be his heir. They have always looked the same.

When Regulus' parents die, Arcturus freezes all portraits. Collects valuables in the house and books. Sirius' belongings, which were passed on to Black after his imprisonment, and photographs from the bedroom are sent to a small box. Before his death, Arcturus makes a will. For those around him, the entire Black state passes over to the _unknown._ Arcturus uses magic and influence. His will is the _law._ Nobody will know the truth. Arcturus says openly that _with the death of Regulus, the true Blacks have come to an end._  
_________________________________________________________________

Kreacher is overjoyed to see Regulus. He never found a way to destroy the Locket. The elf cries and reproaches himself. Reggie never blamed him. But Kreacher is determined. He doesn't want his master to suffer. He uses his magic to get rid of the Dark mark. The potion had already crippled his health, _it_ killed him in the end. Regulus was against it. _But Kreacher deserved a choice._ Reggie buried his only friend three months after getting rid of the mark. He might not have gotten rid of her. He could find a way. But the mark was hidden due to the disappearance of the Dark Lord. It would take years. Kreacher didn't let him wait that long. _This is why Regulus cries for the first time in years._  
_________________________________________________________________________

He cries when he comes to Arcturus's grave. His eyes are completely dry as he sits on the roof of a building and watches the Black family house on fire.


	3. search

**Always choose the most difficult path - you will not meet competitors on it.**

At the bottom of the lake, surrounded by Inferi, Reggie surpassed his limit. His magic nearly paralyzed him, but now he can _feel_ her. Just as he sensed a breach in his charm. This is how he sees magic itself now. He Apparated further than usual. It damaged his lung. But he can Apparate instantly, miles ahead of other wizards. _It is very convenient._

Regulus doesn't sit still anymore. He travels the world, searches for lost knowledge, learns something new. He did not hesitate to use magic to get food or lodging. _He was never a good person._ Of course, it got easier over time. He studied the Muggle world, their inventions. _That was incredible._ He worked if he was in any city for more than a couple of days. In the bar, in the bookstore, in the office. What he just did not do.

He did not graduate from Hogwarts, did not receive a diploma from the wizarding world, but he did not care. Every day his knowledge became more and more. He studied various languages, including the ancients. He studied dark magic and soul magic. He climbed into such a jungle that of some he could barely carry his feet. _One day he was nearly trampled by a herd of graphorns._

He took the name Reggie Arctur. _Reggie_ from the warm days of childhood. _Arctur_ in honor of his grandfather. He wanted to keep that name. But he was no longer Black, whom his parents were so proud of.

Regulus lived in rented apartments, constantly moved. He had few things. He lived in a magic tent. _That was enough._ He never felt more alive.

He can do a lot without a wand. But he found _his_ in the depths of Norway. 13.5 inches, aspen, core of one wampus hair, the other festral. Both are white, barely processed. They leave splinters, at their ends his blood. _But they are his._

Reggie realized that Voldemort had made several Horcruxes. He is obsessed with magic and immortality. In magic, the sacred number is seven. Slytherin Locket, Hufflepuff Cup and Ravenclaw Diadem. It is unlikely that the Dark Lord laid hands on the Gryffindor thing. Regulus remembered Nagini, Voldemort did not part with her. At least four. Three more.

The medallion belonged to a great wizard, not his deceitful descendant, so Reggie was not eager to destroy it. Fortunately, while wandering between Greece and India, he found a way to transfer the Horcrux from one object to another. He kept the Slytherin Locket for himself. It might be vain, but he didn't want to part with him. _It all started with him._

Back in England, Regulus investigated Voldemort's past. _Tom Riddle._ Reggie searched the houses of his relatives and found the cursed ring. _He is not an idiot, he recognized the stone in him._ But the Dark Lord himself is not, obviously. Grindelwald would be amused. Reggie created a black gold chain for the Resurrection Stone and wore it around his neck. _The dead must remain dead._

It's five. Two more. Regulus somehow had the idea that Voldemort could give a couple of Horcruxes to his most loyal supporters, of course, not to mention what it is. But to whom? And where did _they_ hide them. Reggie thought about Bella, but he didn't know where she could hide such an important thing. If this is something like a ring, she would have to carry it on herself. Gringotts? And how to get there in this case?

When he found out about Harry Potter, bad suspicions crept into his soul. _Why would a boy have a scar?_ Not only in relation to the Horcrux. _But also to Dumbledore._

Reggie knew he was right when, years later, he met Harry Potter in Diagon Alley and smelled the magic in his scar.

Reggie realized that he and Grindelwald were right when, a little less than a year after they met, a snow-white owl found him with a letter from Harry Potter.

_If I am free, I will still pursue my goal. Me, you, the new Dark Lord and Albus are all like that._


	4. two

**Sometimes the best way to ruin a person is to let him choose his own destiny.**

Reggie was right about Bella. Since she sat in Azkaban for life with her family, Regulus had the right to take her property, since it belonged to the Black family through her. This was stated in the laws of the family. But only her. Not Rabastan or Rodolphus. Fortunately, Bellatrix kept a list of her own belongings in Lestrange's safe. _Naturally, she singled out the gift from the Dark Lord as her own._ Since Reggie is now Lord Black, the formalities were settled quickly.

Reggie glanced at the Hufflepuff Cup on the table. He had already pulled the Horcrux out of it and destroyed it. Minus four counting Harry. There are three left. Regulus took a sip of the whiskey from the glass. Where to look, he had no idea yet. Especially the snake.

Reggie cracked his neck with a sigh. He did not expect that he would have to go that far. But he could not leave the boy to die. Reggie glanced sideways at the small box on the table. He saw pictures of Sirius. He clearly loved the boy. _So what happened?_ Is it not as it seems again? Dumbledore?

Regulus turned back to the window. He didn't expect to buy a house at all. But they need to live somewhere. And he needs to find a school for Harry. After that, he could think of Sirius. Talking about school. _Edda would be an excellent option._ But getting Harry there could be a problem. Reggie reached for the phone.

_I need help in an easy way._

_Anything for you._


	5. expectation

**People have learned to use technology, but have forgotten how to talk to people...**

Reggie exhaled cigarette smoke while watering the flowers Harry had planted. He sent the boy to the academy and was left alone. Habitual and unusual at the same time. Regulus rarely stayed in one place for that long. At least they had good neighbors. The boy was having fun.

Reggie twirled his wand, displacing the jets of water. Gellert knew Albus Dumbledore really well. He began to stir. Sirius admired him so much, but in the end? Initially or not, Dumbledore knew that Sirius was not a secret guardian. Did he know about Pettigrew? Was it all on purpose? Did Regulus' brother become a pawn of his long game or accidentally fell under the distribution? Reggie admitted deep down that Dumbledore and the Dark Lord were similar. They always played their game, not completely devoting others to their plans.

Why? Because of the Horcruxes? Did Dumbledore know? Reggie chewed on a cigarette. Couldn't he have pulled the Horcrux out of the child? It was hard, Regulus knew that. But possibly. So that’s not the point. In what? Couldn't he find the rest? Did he want to use Harry? Reggie did not choose death once, so that children would follow in his footsteps. Why throw a child in front of wolves? It was like Dumbledore wanted him dead. Them. Harry and Voldemort.

Regulus knew that the magical part of England was still in shock. This is only on hand. He can't let Dumbledore recover. And use Sirius.

Reggie shifted his wand again as he heard the noise of a motorcycle outside the house. It's time for him to get down to business. If his older brother is innocent, then Regulus will help him. He remembered Amelia Bones from Hufflepuff, she worked for the Ministry now. She hated lies. Hearing the sound of the front door, Reggie hid his wand and goes inside.

_Peach-tree?_

_Are you bleeding my floor?_

_It is not mine._

_I love peaches._

_So I brought a whole backpack from Fukushima._

_I'll brew coffee._


	6. brother

**We will either learn to live together as brothers, or we will all perish together like fools.**

Reggie was right about Amelia Bones. A couple of days after receiving the message, and she had already pulled Sirius Black out of prison, blew up the Wizengamot and Dumbledore. She was not shy about talking to the press. All the front pages of newspapers were full of information that Sirius was thrown into Azkaban without trial, and the Order of Merlin was awarded a _mass murderer._ Sirius admitted that they were unregistered Animagus. He would have been fined if not for the imprisonment. The Ministry itself paid him a huge sum.

Dumbledore didn't look good. There were mentions in the newspapers that he asked about Sirius, so people began to believe that he had known the truth for a long time. It didn't take long to link Sirius' imprisonment with Harry's relatives, to whom Albus had sent him. Many people remembered that Sirius was hot-tempered and hated to obey anyone. _He would not have left his godson with the Muggles._ Dumbledore tried to deny, of course, but it didn't look good to him.

Regulus turned the binoculars slightly. Sirius looked better than he did on trial. And angrier when he read the newspapers. Fortunately, he did not rush into battle as Regulus originally thought. Amelia helped with this without a doubt. Reggie left Sirius some money, a wand, and rented him an apartment. But he didn't give himself away. He didn’t know how far Sirius was from Dumbledore, he couldn’t risk Harry. And Reggie was sure Sirius would _not understand._ During the war, he fought Bella, everyone knew that. He hates Death Eaters. Sirius could very likely attack Regulus if he finds out he's alive.

For Reggie, Sirius will forever remain a brother, but Sirius's own beloved brother died 11 years ago. Regulus accepted this long ago. Learned to live. It didn't even hurt. Rather, it was just another obvious thing. _They stopped being brothers for a long time._

Reggie removed the binoculars and Apparated onto the motorcycle at the end of the street, hugging the rider around the waist. The motorcyclist took off without turning around.

_Let's go hunting? Fresh meat and alcohol._

_You know the answer._


	7. warmly

**There are so many consumers of soulful warmth that the cold does not get a tooth on a tooth.**

The older brother always surprised Regulus. He went against family foundations, found his own family, fought with all his heart, like pranking people. Reggie thought Sirius had already forgotten him. But no. Sirius didn't want to leave him. It was unexpectedly warming. Regulus saw the question in his eyes, but could not answer. This is only his business.

Sirius was always warm. Until he came in the night and hugged him, Reggie didn't even remember it. He understood that his brother was stubborn. That he will not stand it and will start asking questions. But when exactly?

Recently, the scars hurt so much that Regulus spent a couple of hours, just curled up on the windowsill. _This pain resembled a lot._ The poison was still in the blood. Even Kreacher, with his elf magic, would not have lived long. But Harry now had Sirius, and Sirius had Harry himself. Regulus was calm about this. He did his part. Protected the boy until his brother got back on his feet.

Reggie accepted a bottle of Calvados from Vairok. His friend returned to butchering a beaver he had recently caught. The mined meat at the stake. _As it was many times before._ Regulus takes a sip from the bottle while Vairok tastes a piece of raw meat. His teeth were sharpened for convenience. Reggie knows that even in his normal state, he is intimidating. _They don't even know what they are afraid of._

Regulus closes his eyes, feeling the taste of copper in his mouth and pain in his hands. He himself didn't know how much was left. Vairok did not know how long he was still able to hold even a _human form._ It didn't matter.

They will be leaving for Britain soon. What's going on at Hogwarts? Who will break first? Will they die or will they be killed?

Reggie takes another sip with a lazy grin. No difference. It was their choice.

_They will only die on their own terms._


	8. basilisk

**I may use food for a sense of comfort, but the chocolate cake has never accused me of anything.**

Reggie looked longingly at the basilisk corpse in front of him.

-Do you expect me to cook this?

-Not all, - Vairok shrugged. - I eat raw too, but your cooking is good.

Regulus just rolled his eyes. He looked around.

-Did you find anything?

-Room in the back. There is something like a bedroom and a laboratory. I already took the books and ingredients from there. You think Riddle hid the Horcrux at school?

-Maybe. This place is not easy to search. Nobody would think that a piece of his soul is somewhere here. Aurors are testing students.

-Hardly anyone from Slytherin, you know. The castle itself smells of black magic. Is that Dumbledore?

-Hardly.

They raised their heads to the ceiling.

-Artifacts? Amelia's men will check the castle, but there are also hidden rooms. Do you know where Konrad is now?

-In Antarctica, - Vairok winced. - I’m more in beats, but you don’t feel?

-Too much magic, - Regulus shook his head. - I can't define. Perhaps together we can, if he leads.

The men turned around. Reggie's lips twitched into a smile.

-Professor Flitwick.

The little professor smiled happily.

-Hello Regulus. I am very glad that the rumors about your death were exaggerated. Explains why Sirius is so happy after Christmas.

Reggie laughed softly. Filius looked him over.

-You have suffered a lot, haven't you?

Regulus shrugged.

-Harry's fine, if you're interested.

Flitwick nodded.

-Glad to hear that. I saw that the boy is small for his age, that he avoids the crowd. But I never thought it would be like this. - Flitwick gritted his teeth. - Albus has played too much of his games, obviously.

Vairok went further down the sewerage, leaving them behind. Regulus nodded.

-I spoke to Grindelwald many years ago. He said that Dumbledore never strayed from the path that they chose together.

The professor nodded gravely.

-I know about their history. Albus really hasn't changed, I'm afraid. He believes in the image that he himself created. To the detriment of others. Harry needs to be out of his reach.

-I took care of it. Did the Aurors find anything?

-Yes. The Unspeakable said that a trail of magic leads to Gryffindor Tower.

Reggie shook his head.

-He knew?

-He denies, - Flitwick snorted. - Other professors are not happy. We wanted to inform the Ministry, but Albus said he would do it himself. So that Hogwarts is not closed.

-He is holding onto the seat. Without this, they will not listen to him. He hides more than I know.

Flitwick looked at the former student sharply.

-We'll find out. You are not alone, Regulus.

-Now it's Reggie, - he smiled. - I'm used to being alone. - He scowled over his shoulder. - Not counting those who poke wands at my fruit trees.

-They bear fruit faster, - came from the side passage. - I measured!

-What else did you do with my trees? - Reggie was indignant.

Flitwick hid his smile behind his hand. It looks like his former student started to really _live_ after disappearing.


	9. diadem

**It's hard to find a black cat in a dark room ... especially if she's not there!**

Three hours of searching and four attempts to find the right room. And they are finally inside the Room of Requirement, filled with junk.

-We were looking for _this?_

Reggie and Konrad stared at the _heaps of things._

-Diadem, right? - Konrad asked wearily. - This place smelled of dark magic so that it bears even beyond its borders.

Regulus grunted in agreement. Luckily they had a photo of the Diadem. Konrad found her at once and turned his head.

-Will you leave everything to the Aurors?

Reggie looked around too. They could have taken the books. Hmm?

-Is this the Vanishing cabinet? It's broken.

They looked at each other.  
____________________________________________________________

Flitwick swore for a long time when he saw the Diadem. _This bastard!_ Reggie transferred the Horcrux to an unnecessary ring and destroyed it, and the professor took the Diadem to the Ravenclaw's living room, to the portrait of the founder.  
___________________________________________________________

The Vanishing cabinet was accidentally smashed by Peeves, as it turned out. Regulus and Konrad tracked the second cabinet back to the store in Knockturn Alley. Where Tom Riddle once worked. Minerva sent Albus's beard into the fire. _He could be here at any moment!_  
____________________________________________________________

After the discovery of the Horcrux, the Unspeakable took to the room. They quickly sorted out all the junk. There were many dark artifacts and illegal things, as it turned out. They destroyed a part, took something for study. Both cabinets were confiscated by the Ministry.  
______________________________________________________________

Konrad leafed through one of the collected books on dark spells.

-Not bad at all. Will you give me the basilisk scales?

-Take it.

Vairok poured them whiskey into glasses.

-There's a snake, right?

Reggie nodded from his chair.

-Unless he has done it yet.

-This Dumbledore is clearly not saying something, - Konrad said. - And it's not about the Horcruxes.

-He's used to being in power, you can see it right away, - Vairok grinned. - He’s not sorry for the boy if the others are saved. Thanks to his exhortation.

-The need to be a hero, you mean? - thought Regulus. - Has the meaning. Gellert talked about it. Dumbledore didn't want to believe that his sister and brother didn't need him.

-Some people are just useless, - Konrad muttered. - But what does it matter to us what he thinks?

-He's going to do something, - Reggie grinned.

They saluted each other with glasses. Whatever Dumbledore did, they hardly cared. He cannot do serious harm. In the end, they will die by _their_ rules, not by _others._


	10. pain

**You and I are tenacious wolves. Heart probably hurts from strong coffee...**

Regulus has long been accustomed to pain. It was part of him from the age of six. When family disputes began to shake the whole house. Pain from family members quarrels, pain from losing a brother, pain from one's own weakness. It was inside him. Pain that was eating away at the soul.

After 17, the pain became physical. Burns and poison in the blood. It was easier that way. Pain became the personification of memories. _Proved that he was alive._ Reggie chose the pain himself. He knew that slowly it was burning him from the inside. But he himself made this choice.

He died on his own terms. By his choice.  
___________________________________________

Pain burned inside Reggie. The pain twisted Vairok's bones. The pain kept Konrad from going.

_They all looked into the abyss. And the abyss looked back at them._

_They chose it themselves._  
______________________________________________

The scar on Vairok's face rips open, revealing sharp, curved fangs. _Even Fenrir the Greyback feels fear._ Reggie doesn't even react to the howling of the werewolves being _torn apart._

Regulus looks into the fire they started an hour ago. _They have nothing to fear. Others should be afraid of them._

Reggie's hands are shaking as he tries to open the thermos. He drops it, but it returns to his hands without spilling a drop. Vairok doesn't turn around from Fenrir's corpse. Just like Reggie says nothing about his blood-stained face. His fangs still stick out through the scar.

_They saw each other at their worst._  
__________________________________________________

Sometimes the pain doesn't stop for days. Sometimes it just fatigue in the body.

Konrad has returned to Antarctica for now. _The cold and pain of the scars is strangely refreshing._ Vairok went to Dubai. _Sphinxes and damn sand._ Reggie needs to look for the sealing spells. _The scar on his cheek burns._  
___________________________________________________

Callahans are amazing, what can you say. Reggie said a lot. More than he intended. He knows Harry is interested. What Sirius wants to know.

Unfortunately, these are days of fatigue. He usually sleeps at this time. But the search. And bone pain. He doesn't know if it's a sign.

He wants to sleep, so he gives Sirius the memory. He didn't want to tell. This is his business. After all, he figured it out. Why talk? But now he is tired and does not want to soften the answers.

Reggie curls up into a ball. _Now he would like ice coffee._ But he was tired. _This is not a problem._

Reggie thinks Sirius won't understand. But this thought does not evoke emotion. It's good. Sirius is not like him. Sirius is bright as the sun. He needs to live and raise Harry.

Reggie closes his eyes, feeling the familiar fire in his insides. He will get some sleep. The rest will wait a little longer.


	11. Callahans

**The family is either constant sabotage or a reliable support. In the latter case, you are very lucky.**

The Callahans were the opposite of the Blacks. Calm, reasonable, protecting each other to the grave, always listening to each other. They did not raise their voices over nonsense, did not throw family members over the threshold, did not turn away from each other.

Bayon will always give advice. Zephyr will listen. Kronos will tell the story. Theodora will treat you to cookies. Esdras will take for a walk. This is a real family.

Reggie hasn't had it since he was 10. When his brother went to Hogwarts. Sirius is still reproaches himself.  
_________________________________________________

Esdras is the favorite of Regulus. Kronos and Sirius argue with this. Zephyr grins. Theodora leans over to Reggie.

-My too.

Bayon laughs.  
___________________________________________

Kronos is very stubborn. Just like Sirius. The two quickly became friends. Although Sirius still doesn't like to share his little brother. _This is his little brother._  
___________________________________________

Vairok smiles, causing the scar to open to reveal inhuman fangs. Kronos swallows.

_Know your place, fellow._

Sirius has already gone through this. He's still _scared._ Reggie laughs softly.

Reggie and Vairok are bound by souls. You go to one, you get from the second.

There's more, Sirius knows. He saw only Konrad and Vito.

Sirius and the Callahans want to know more.

_They are family._  
________________________________________________

Regulus likes Callahans. He is sometimes sad that the Blackies could not be like that. But this is the past.

The effects of the poison are reduced thanks to the efforts of those who care.

But the poison is still in the blood.

There will always be worry in Sirius's eyes.

Reggie lets him be there.

But there are still times when he disappears. One, with Vairok, with others. He is coming back. _But he needs it._

His scars still hurt. He still has blood in his mouth. Vairok bares fangs next to him. This is their life.

_They made their choice years ago._


	12. calmness

**Tattoos, blood and scars are what we're made of.**

Reggie took a sip from the bottle Konrad had served. The hunt is over.

He felt satisfaction deep in his heart. It was like putting an end to a long story. Stories that lasted half of his life.

Horcruxes destroyed. Voldemort is dead. The goal that he himself chose is finally achieved.

Regulus bask in the sun on the balcony of Wairoka Castle. He's still alive. He didn't even think he'd have time to finish. It feels good.

He has no thoughts what will happen now.

_It's a choice. That's life._

Voldemort did not even understand what had happened. He was afraid at the very end. This memory lifts the corners of the lips.

-In Peru saw the enraged Wendigo again.

Reggie grins. Konrad bares his teeth. Fangs show through Vairok's scar.

The goal is fulfilled. Life remained. Poison in the blood. Pain in bones and scars. It does not matter. They will be on their way soon. As they did for years.

_In the end, they will die on their own terms._


End file.
